Almost one year ago, I shared this:
Somewhat bleak of a post and far more personal than my usual writing. It was a confession, a vulnerable step towards truth. Today I am happy to say that over the past year, I’ve given myself permission to have the aforementioned seven things…
- Fame. I have twenty-seven thousand followers! I had zilch one year ago! I largely overcame the fear of being seen and allowed myself to begin sharing my truth boldly. Apparently it has resonated with people. I no longer feel such shame in sharing my truth.
- Fortune. While I still have a ways to go to get to where I would like to be, I am more financially secure than I have ever been. I have divorced struggle altogether. I have learned how to rest and fully enjoy myself without it. Yay!
- Success. Because not only do I have a list of material accomplishments, but I have granted myself permission to celebrate them! I no longer feel the need to hide my achievements out of shame and endlessly work towards the next thing. While I’m not all the way there, home plate is nearer than ever.
- Whatever I want, when I want it, without guilt. I admit we aren’t 100% there, but we are much closer than a year ago. I am much better at receiving without guilt than I have ever been.
- Peace. Like the Madison Beer song, I have never felt more alive. I have never felt more safe, more grounded, more at home within myself. Bypassing my anxiety to manufacture an illusion of peace never worked. Only when I allowed my anxiety to swallow me whole did I realize it was just me crying out for relief. When I learned to give myself that relief, peace became a natural consequence of my inner harmony.
- Friends. I have some amazing friends which is hard to believe considering where I was one year ago. I felt so lonely as though no matter how many new people I met, no one was a match for me. Now, my friendships are so fulfilling, I feel like a new woman.
- Confidence. In letting myself be seen and known, I have affirmed that I am worth seeing and knowing, even with my imperfections. Even when I make mistakes, I am still me, and my value is unchanged. I determine by own value with the judgments I cast on myself. By giving myself affirmation instead of judgment, I attract completely new manifestations of my self-concept, in people and circumstances. It’s really cool.
By no means am I at the self-concept finish line. But clearly I have made visible strides.
Every year my world expands a bit more. This happens not by accident or as a byproduct of aging. It happens most when I commit to holding, hearing, and loving my inner self. I have never been as freely emotional as I am now, and in some ways that can feel like a handicap. But I know it is true power, because it has made more and more of my dreams come true.
Discover more from isabella luella newman
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Leave a Reply