On TikTok, I shared that I find asking for help with my problems to be empowering, to me and usually to the men who volunteer to help me. It feels good to let other people work for me and solve my problems, no matter how small or trivial they are. I don’t feel like searching for a product in a store or lifting something heavy or trying to reach something on a high shelf by standing on the lower shelf and hoping it doesn’t break on me? No problem. There is always someone around to help. I proudly outsource many of my problems.

It’s usually more fun to outsource my problems to men and put them to work. I said all this more on TikTok, and one viewer commented, “It’s insulting to do that. They assume you’re fragile…stupid..no thanks.”

She is probably right. Asking for help from some people might change their opinion of me. They might think I’m fragile or stupid, but they will probably still help me, and that’s all I care about. No one has ever said no when I’ve asked for help with something. If they can’t help, they find someone else who can. I once asked a man to help me put my heavy carry-on up on the TSA scanner, and he was very grumpy, but he still did it. I ask, and it’s given to me. Who cares what other attitudes or opinions come with it? I would rather be relaxed and judged by others than struggling because I want to win their approval. Like she said, “no thanks.”

Maybe it’s you who already feels fragile and stupid. Maybe you believe you have to prove something to the world and so you refuse to let others make your life easy. You believe you have to do hard things because it validates you. You do you, I guess. I’ll take the easy way out because I have nothing to prove. And that is the confidence that makes up true feminine energy.