Most protagonists are flawed, and their flaws are what give depth and meaning to their stories. But some protagonists dance around their flaws endlessly instead of ever overcoming them. Sex and the City‘s protagonist is one of them; annoyingly flawed, at times, making the same bad choices again and again, and never learning from her mistakes.
On today’s episode of what’s wrong with Carrie Bradshaw, I want to address something that often goes overlooked: her career. Most people ask questions like how could she afford a NYC apartment on a one-column salary? and how much debt did she have from all that shopping? But my concern is, Why didn’t she get farther along in her career during the show? Carrie had many opportunities to advance during the original series, and sabotaged nearly all of them. She had the chance to write for Vogue, turn her column into a movie, and even walk as a runway model during the show’s six-year run. But she passed up on or sabotaged all of those opportunities.
And why was this? For one, she was incredibly insecure. She likely did not believe she deserved to be seen or to advance towards greater success. She was more than timid, shy and modest about herself; she believed she was undeserving of positive attention. Nonetheless, that is not the subject of this post. Instead, it’s this:
Carrie’s ultimate failure was that she lived a directionless life.
The rest of the main characters had direction, in their professional and personal lives. They were going somewhere; they had goals, they climbed ladders, they got where they wanted to go. Carrie, on the other hand, never tried to make her life better. The only thing she cared about improving was her shoe collection (which was her financial demise.)
Carrie aimlessly wandered through her 30s, which is why she ended up in the same toxic on-again-off-again relationship, at the same job, in the same apartment. The things that mark “progressions” seem to fall out of the sky into her lap–her book deal (it came to her out of nowhere), buying her apartment (Charlotte gave her the money), and finally getting a commitment from Big (technically, she chased this one for more than a decade).
But Carrie had no goals–not marriage, children, writing a book, bigger career success, owning her own home (until she HAD to), getting out of debt, or even trying new things at all! This is in stark contrast to her friends:
Charlotte was always trying new things–classes, workshops, to enhance her life, make herself happy or reach her goals. Charlotte’s clear goal was marriage. Instead of sitting around waiting for a man, Charlotte worked a job she loved, managed her finances to live the lifestyle she wanted, and sought out the man she wanted by dating and having high personal standards. Charlotte dated not aimlessly but as a way to find her husband. While her first marriage did not work out, she still achieved her goal. She married a rich, successful, smart, kind man. Her second marriage was one of true love where she still got what she wanted–a rich, successful, smart, kind man–albeit his personality was different than she’d imagined. The point is, Charlotte had clear goals and she stuck to them. This benefited her greatly.
Miranda’s life also progressed throughout the series. She became partner at her law firm, she bought herself a nice apartment, and she married a man she loved, Steve. Miranda was a bit less focused than Charlotte, because she fell pregnant unexpectedly at a time when she did not want to be a mother. Even though she made the best of it, she struggled immensely because of it.
Samantha had her own business and rented her own apartment. We actually don’t know how much her business progressed; we just know that she knew what she wanted and she went after it. This was true in her professional life and with men. While Samantha created a life she loved, we did not see much of the process of her growth because she was older than the girls and had likely already built a lot for herself off camera.
Carrie didn’t know what she wanted and she didn’t go after anything except Big. She said she wanted marriage. But when Aidan offered her marriage, she said she didn’t want to be married. She said she wanted Vogue. But when she got the job offer, she got drunk on the first day after getting some criticism on her work, and sabotaged the gig. She said she wanted Dolce. But her insecurities got the best of her and she didn’t model. Carrie’s life lacked direction, security, and purpose, yet somehow she ended up marrying rich, with a book deal and owning her own apartment. How? “Movie magic,” I suspect, because in reality she would have none of those things. Carrie didn’t work for what she got (except Big, and she suffered enough with him).
Maybe the lesson is that even if you float through life, you will get things handed to you without you having to work hard or pursue them or even just set goals. Maybe you just wander aimlessly until something hits you and you’ll still be a success. But in spite of what she had on paper, I don’t consider Carrie a success. Why? She never grew up.
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